When I feel hurt, offended, rejected, and/or scared I cut people out of my life. I’ve done it for so long that it can almost be a reflex. My father came over recently to visit. While there he dropped some knowledge. He reminded me that family is important, no matter what. He was specifically talking about maintaining my relationship with my mother. As I proceeded to give him my usual argument that the relationship is strained and it leaves me doubting who I am which is toxic for my mental health. He interrupted me and told me that he was not telling me to pretend like everything is okay, nor was he telling me to accept her behavior if it is out of line. He said that I need to remember that she is family, to love her where she is, and not to give up on her. He wrapped it up by saying that I need to remember that for all of my family members. Point taken!
The next day and for several days after that, I’ve been thinking about what he said. I realized that I can quickly let go of relationships that I don’t consider to be healthy (see the first line above). Sometimes that’s the correct answer, but there are times when I need to distance myself instead of cutting someone out completely. I thought about God’s grace and how I mess up a bazillion times a day. Yet he forgives me, he loves me regardless, and gives me grace whether I deserve it or not. He never let’s me go, and I want to be more like that in my relationships.
So, following my dad’s advice I will work on not letting go so quickly. It will be a work in progress, but so is my entire life.
Sending you positive vibes, love and light!